Oh, John, come and mow the lawn now,
The grass is too long.
Oh, no, mama, please don't ask me,
I'm not feeling strong.
My poor legs are aching,
My poor back is breaking;
No, oh, no!
I can't mow the lawn!

Oh, John, come and start the fire now,
Please come when I speak.
Oh, no, mama, please don't ask me,
My heart's much too weak.
It palpitates badly,
And bobs about madly;
No, oh, no!
I can't start the fire!

Oh, John, come and wash the car now,
It's out in the yard.
Oh, no, mama, please don't ask me,
The task is too hard.
My arms are too slender,
My muscles too tender;
No, oh, no!
I can't wash the car!

Oh, John, come and paint the trim now,
It needs a new coat.
Oh, no, mama, please don't ask me,
I have a sore throat.
It burns when I swallow,
And fever will follow;
No, oh, no!
I can't paint the trim!

Oh, John, come and play some baseball,
Won't you join our team?
Oh, yes, fellas, thanks for asking,
I'm feeling supreme.
I'll hit in tight places,
I'll catch and steal bases;
Yes, oh, yes!
I'd love to play ball!